Monday, August 23, 2010

Forgive Me Olive For I Have Binned...

Dear Olive,
I want you to know that I am sitting here selling your toys. Your ExerSaucer (you loved that - do I have a picture of you playing in it?) your high chair, your train (you just started moving backwards), your busy ball popper...and it is much harder than I ever thought these things can be.

It's not every day you move 3500 miles cross country. we have done it twice in one year - well, why not, eh? Back to your Manhattan roots. It's all a big adventure and although financial necessity has forced us on this road, I like to think that we are thrifty (Portland) trailblazers moving the wrong way on the Oregon Trail. (Thank you, thank you...i'll be here some of this week).

So, we are selling everything and while my life is now in one smushed suitcase (no, really) - getting rid of your stuff seems, well, wrong. Now, this is not 'willy nilly' trashing. I'm storing anything that holds strong memories of you. Yesterday that was everything - this morning I was down to 4 boxes, well, plastic tubs, large plastic tubs. I can't help it. I started purging with anything blue, then yellow and was going to get to purple but thought better of it. However, as I just shed a tear over donating your first pair of converse - I realised how many items from my childhood I still have. Um, that would be none. I think my mum still has my baby teeth. Does that count? I'm sorry, darling, everything must go...except the sleep suit you came home from the hospital in. That and your blankets and the first hat your daddy bought you.

Easy? No. Emotional. Yes, yes, yes. Yet, as the last of the Craigslist buzzards arrive to take the couch, I am strangely liberated. Your fascination with Tupperware and a wooden spoon has me a changed woman.

Anyway, as you read this in 20 odd years time and you ask about your favorite toys and games, please know that I am capturing this memory and storing it here. Nothing you can touch, but something I hope you feel.

I'm going now - there's someone at the door coming to view your Boppy and Peanut Sling (who does that?)

Love, Mum

P.s. You have had an awful lot of fun bouncing on the air mattress these past two weeks.


  1. But on the plus side you will never end up on that 'Hoarders: Buried Alive' show. :)

    Seriously though, good luck on your big move. I can't say I'm not little bit jealous.

  2. I can't wait to hear how everything goes over the next month or so. I miss you already!

  3. I am the same is so hard for me to purge. It seems like everything has some sort of little memory attached. However, with four kids, I've had to learn to let go of some of it. If I hadnt, we'd have nowhere to walk, and my husband would be having a hissy fit! Hope you have an easy and safe move.

  4. Ah... the converse! I could have kept those in the family for you!!! Or in the cedar chest, just like my polk a dot bikini! Oh well... memories kept in the heart are the most treasurable.
    Love is all that Olive needs anyway and she has a lot of it!

  5. You're moving! I haven't read your blog for a bit and just now caught on. Interesting. Need more information. :)

  6. Just found/read your blog for the first time. You are such a wonderful writer, thanks for sharing with all of us. I know how you feel too. We just moved from California to Tallinn Estonia and I could only bring what would fit into 6 suitcases. I feel like I mourned the loss of my daughter's favorite (and rather large) toys. Hope the move goes/went well : )


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