Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Poop Happens

Mums never have time to poop. In fact, i barely have time to pee. I usually have to run out of the room singing Olivia's name as i go and then as soon as i hear the "where's mummy?" whimper, i'll sing "i'm cooominggg, oliiiviaaaaa" before hurrying back to her pulling my pants up as i go and wiping my wet hands on them as i hurry back in.  As for eating, well, I can only assume that this is another brilliant trick by Mother Nature - eat as much as you can in those pregnancy months because you'll be starving for the next couple of years. A bit like a squirrel storing nuts...
Yes, yes, my daughter naps - in fact, she's as low maintenance as they come (or so I am led to believe) but when babies nap it is golden time. I don't want to be cooking for myself. I'm either going to do one of the following things - brush my teeth, do laundry, pick up the apartment, email friends that think i have dropped off the planet or most importantly nap myself. I think this is where stay at home moms get a bad deal because people assume that we can just sleep during the day while they are slaving at work. Let me paint you the other side. Our job does not come with a lunch break, hometime, vacation days or even sick days to call upon when things get too much. We are on call 24/7 and get paid in kind. It's the greatest job in the world but also the hardest. I had no idea. I had a rude awakening. It's a simple as that. Do you know what i miss? That giddy feeling you would get at around 3 or 4pm on  a work day when you knew that 5 o'clock was just around the corner. You know the feeling - you get a sudden lift and let people go ahead of you at the copier, deliver other people's fax cover sheets. If it's a Friday or a long weekend you may even talk to people in the stall next to you in the restroom. It's fleeting but magical. That's it. That's what i miss. 
Anyway, back to me starving - literally wasting away here...so, when i was at Costco...which incidentally is my new favorite place - my bathroom cupboards are now stocked with a 10 pack of toothpaste, 6 electric toothbrushes, 24 razors and 5 deodorants. Amazing. Incidentally, how long does it take you to get through a roll on stick deodorant? I use mine daily and roll back and forth say 5 times on each pit and it still takes me months. I think i have enough deodorant for perhaps 3 years. Please let me know if i am missing some vital deodorant etticute here. Ok, so as i wandered around Costco I found power bars, energy bars, trail mix bars etc. Brilliant, i thought. A fool proof way for moms to eat quickly and on the go. I grabbed a box and headed into the sunset. Yesterday, absolutely bloody marvellous. Was twice as effective given my new sustenance. Today, well, as I was munching away on these little monkeys I realized that they were Fiber One bars - yep, a single power bar has 33% of your daily fiber allowance. I have had 3 already today. 
Remember what i had said about not having time to poop? I am now hollering the Grand Old Duke of York from the bathroom at Olive. She even accompanied me in her stroller earlier. 
So, there you go - and so the eternal quest continues - what do moms eat that's simple, healthy and quick to grab?
On a side note, I am thankful for the 28 pack of toilet rolls i bought at Costco.


  1. Let's see.... I eat coffee (meant to put that...), clif bars, bananas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, nuts, and wine. That pretty much sums it up. Oh, and PIZZA! ;-) I realized a few days back as I was going to the bathroom and both Josh and Allie were in there with me... "I'm never going to have privacy again. It's gone. Over. Done."
    Welcome to motherhood. It only gets better from here. ;-)

  2. YIKES.
    Just wait until she's mobile and you have to bring her into the loo with you. Jakey just LOVES that xx

  3. Your Blog is brilliant! Iam laughing out loud! I use to put Noella in the bathtub when I had to go! (and there were plenty of times I wanted to fill it up first..did I say that out loud??!!) As for eating I was skinnier during her infant stage then I am now...I never ate..I would be shaking by noon..I had Starbucks everyday..I would take Noella for a walk for her nap and headed straight to Starbucks! It was my main supply of energy and a piece of dark chocolate to keep my eye's open! It gets easier Paula..I promise after she is 18 months things get easier..sounds a long way to go but it goes fast! xoxo hang in there..your a soldier now!

  4. That comment above is from Melissa Smiley BTW...I figured you would of figured that out by the Noella Reference!

  5. and? just so you know, it will NEVER end. ever.

    the she-spawn just shoves things at me under the door, if i dare to lock it.

    as far as what did i eat? everything. apparently, it is a great accomplishment that i managed to stay fat through two infants. go me!


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